Creating Rituals in your Family and Community

After spending these last few weeks of the holidays connecting with others, making time to connect with family and friends might be the last thing on your mind.  But, why place all your stress on the holidays when you can intentionally gather more often with your social circle, community group or family and relieve the pressure from your yearly holiday practice?

The beginning of a new year is a great time to set new intentions, so why not add a new community ritual to honor your relationships throughout the year.  By setting a specific time to share each other’s company and actively create a ritual for your community, you are helping to define the meaning of those shared relationships.  Rituals can range from big gatherings to small intimate moments. The significant part is that they occur consistently.

Just like having rituals at the holidays– a pancake breakfast Christmas morning, or spending every New Year’s Eve watching the ball drop, routine gives us a sense of meaning and something to look forward to. When the meaning of ritual becomes shared it’s even more powerful, such as with a religious or community group.  When you attend collective groups regularly, it also facilitates your energy to be involved.  A community of support is created by a shared experience.

Rituals have been shown to support family cohesion, share the teaching of values, and promote intergenerational relationships (Black 2002).  They also demonstrate a sense of belonging and define whether we feel accepted or rejected in relationships.  Getting others involved is a great way to create inclusion and common connection. However, different types of rituals share a different message, such as throwing a potluck versus hosting a five-course dinner party.  Neither is better; they’re just different.  Even if you host a five-course dinner party, you can still get guests involved.  It’s not what you do; it’s how you do it.

To get started crafting your own shared community ritual, feel free to use the rituals below or get creative.  If all goes well, try adding a seasonal ritual in the spring and summer.  Don’t be afraid to let everyone get in on the creation process; especially the younger generation.   Kids, for example often have the best creative ideas. Creating or passing down a ritual also adds to your unique family/community culture, such as the “The Smith’s Yearly Community Tennis Tournament”.  Below are some great rituals you can try out with your community!

  1. Set intentions for the New Year as a group, as well as individually.
  2. Get crafty indoors.  Cook a favorite seasonal recipe, if there is a younger generation involved, have the adults teach the kids about flavors of the season.
  3. Create a yearly neighborhood/community/family game of Capture the Flag, Flag Football or another game or shared outdoor activity.

If none of this sound like it will fit your friendship circle, community group or families’ needs, ask what they would like to do together.  If you can’t think of anything, ask yourself what you have done in the past, in your own childhood or your partner’s that they felt was a special family activity.  Pass it on!

1)  Imber-Black, E. (2002). Family rituals–from research to the consulting room and back again: Comment on the special section. Journal of Family Psychology : JFP : Journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43), 16(4), 445-446. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.16.4.445