Psychotherapy and Counseling, Couple Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling
When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.
Life Really is All About Relationships…
They are everywhere. We exist in them at all times. We want them, we need them, and sometimes we hate them and are afraid of them. We are in relationship with others, our selves, our insides; with animals, nature, our work; with the world surrounding us and far from us. A relationship is about connection and attachment. Sometimes relationships nourish us and sometimes them deplete us, and often, the ones we have the most stake in, can feel scary, and become a source of pain.
When we are wounded in our earliest relationships we can attach fear, anger, and abandonment to being in relationship. Often a felt sense of something dangerous arises when someone we are attached to in present day triggers our wounds that are rooted in the past. Our feelings may seem disproportionate to current situations. Rationally, we may be able to see that these feelings are tied elsewhere, but emotionally, our feelings don’t exist in a specific time and place – they are continuous. When our wounds are triggered in relationship, the same feelings are expressed and triggered, as if the past traumas were happening today. The problem is that we cant clearly see the problems.
As Within So Without
We repeat patterns in relationship over and over again. On the surface, things may seem different at first, but once the wounding becomes too hard to bear, we find that we somehow ended up feeling hurt in a very old, familiar way, a way we have felt our whole lives. This is because we attract a partner who has a similar level of consciousness and healing as we do. What we feel on the inside is reflected on the outside. What we fear, what angers us is all too familiar and yet we attract the very dynamics that hurt us so long ago.
For every action their is an automatic reaction. Once our relationships become conflictual, hurtful, and damaging in ways that are familiar, our body memory kicks into gear and we respond in the only way how that we learned so long ago. We quickly engage coping and defense mechanisms that may have served us long ago, but now are causing damage.
Psychotherapy Provides A Choice
The very first step in creating healthy relationships is becoming consciousness and aware of our ways of being that allow these patterns to continue. The problem is that we can’t clearly see the problem if we aren’t conscious. Psychotherapy can bring insight and clarity to how we are relationally and provide us with a choice – to continue to do what comes easy and natural to us, that which is hurting us, or to risk vulnerability, to strengthen our core, find center ground, so we can make a choice to respond in ways that are healthy and appropriate for the given circumstance.
Sometimes this may involve leaving a relationship that is dangerous to us, emotionally and/or physically, that we are traumatically attached to, or leaving a job, changing your career, or detaching from your family or friends. As we heal, and have a healthier relationship to our Self, we seek to be treated in healthier ways others. If people in your life aren’t on the same healing journey, the relationship may become too painful.
Sometimes its about simply realizing that we may need to be taught healthier ways to communicate with and treat those we are in relationship with, and ask for the same in return.
Midtown Marriage and Family Therapy
NYC Psychotherapy, Therapist, Psychotherapy and Counseling in NYC, Midtown East, Murray Hill location.
Midtown MFT is located in the Midtown East area of NYC and provides individual psychotherapy, couples and marriage counseling, premarital counseling and various groups/workshops . Our clients usually come to us struggling with anger, anxiety, depression, and trauma.
We offer a safe, accepting space within the city for healing. Our community of clinicians are skilled to help you alleviate suffering, enhance your relationships, and enrich your life.
Contact Us and Get Connected!
Call Us: 917-968-5599Send us and Email
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Groups/ Workshops at Midtown
We offer a few groups and workshops to compliment your individual and couples work. Groups and workshops are experiential in nature and provide you with tools and techniques you can implement in your daily life.
8-Week Anger Management Group
Skills Based Anger Management Group. Are you angry? Do you experience too much aggravation and frustration? Are you quick to react, and lose your temper? Join us to explore how understanding and managing your angry feelings can transform your life and relationships.More Info
Premarital Counseling WorkshopMore Info
Anger Management WorkshopMore Info
Communication Skills Workshop
From Isolation to Connection: How to speak and listen in ways that are felt, heard, and understood. Communication skills training in NYC for couples and individuals: problem resolution, resolve conflict, communicate more effectively.More Info