The Process of Healing
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to select a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
~ Anais Nin
The process of healing is a journey of self-discovery that is amazing and terrifying at the same time.
We have a tremendous appreciation for those wanting transformational change. It reflects a moment where we realize that life can’t be different simply by wishing it would change. That in order for our lives to be different, we have to be different.
The way we are in this world was created through our earliest relationships, and all of the experiences in our lives. We had imperfect parents, and some of us had trauma. As children, we had to organize ourselves around, and adapt our bodies to, the systems we were in. In our adult bodies, we are simply wounded children searching for someone or something that will take away the pain and give us a sense of wholeness and peace. Or, we have decided (unconsciously of course) that we don’t need feelings, we don’t need anyone, and we create empty relationships that are safe.
Healing happens within relationship. We are today, a representation of how we were treated in our earliest relationships and experiences. We can only heal, and make changes, by creating new experiences and new relationships. Insight alone isn’t enough. Finding out the ‘why’ or ‘how to’ doesn’t transform us. Only through new and healthy experiences can our bodies find safety, intimacy, connection, compassion, trust, and love.
Creating new experiences isn’t easy: It takes entering places you thought you would never have to go back to, waking up in your self what was lost so long ago, and taking down protections and defense structures that protected you earlier in life.
Life can be amazingly different when we make the commitment to transform. We can feel what we have longed to feel, to find a partner who treats us the way we want and need to be treated, to have fun again and laugh, to be happy, peaceful, calm, stressed, upset, angry, scared, and wonderful, and how we can create the capacity within our own bodies to be ‘ok’ with all of those feelings.
We can become mindful and be fully present in the moment, and ride the waves of life, trusting that as the waves come in and crash on the shore, they will also go back out, and that waking up scary feelings doesn’t mean our lives will be shattered. The landscape may change as life breathes newness into what remains.
We can get the most out of our lives and truly value our time on this earth. This is why we have a passion for this work. Watching another being realize his/her full potential is a gift for which we are truly grateful.