Post-Holiday Couple Conflict
The reality of holidays is that they are stressful! We all dream of the fantasy gathering, painted countless times by TV, Movies, and our own hopes and dreams of what family means. After all… it is a time to come together as a family unit, give thanks for how grateful we are to have one another, and put our best selves forward to create a day of good food/ good people/ good experience. Couples counseling is often sought out after the reality of the holiday sets in – and people realize they can’t make that fantasy come true without some work.
Many couples seek counseling after a holiday
Couples also crave the same fantasy for their relationship. They can either avoid or distract from deep, underlying issues in relationships, or simply try to put them out of mind in search of that fantasy – that everything will just turn out alright. And couples may try very hard to pretend everything is ok.. just to have a good holiday. Especially when children are present… the urge to give them a good holiday can often come at the expense of our own relationship that needs tending to.
Well what happens when your family has been a source of strain and conflict? When your family of origin is a source of painful memories and hurtful family dynamics? Now add to that, having a partner that you also have to tend to, get along with, connect, and create memories together. For some… this entire mix can end up in conflict and pain.
Couples counseling can shed light on the stress
We are often in search of that fantasy on a deep level, without being fully aware that we seek something we don’t know how to get. in addition, couples come to their relationship burdoned with their own family history pain and stress. Especially those who have come from hurtful/ abusive family dynamics – the holidays could bring up underlying feeling of fear, and the need to make everything go just perfect is coming from dynamics rooted very deep.
All of this together can cause couples to have conflict on the days they try hardest to avoid it. And after the holiday, they may feel more hopeless… that they just can’t make things work.
These are very normal feelings when you haven’t healed the wounds from you past. We are a product of everything we have been through in our lives and often… when our relationship isn’t working, its because we need to make our own changes and shifts. Individual counseling and/ or couples/ marriage counseling can help you achieve what you desire in relationship.
Our therapists at Midtown Marriage and Family Therapy, in Midtown NYC, are very experienced and relationally trained and can help you connect past wounds to your present relationship so you can come to your partner with full awareness.