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Living with Intent

Living with Intent

Posted by Ellen Gregory LMFT in Anger, Anxiety, Becomming Conscious, Mindfullness, Relationships 03 Dec 2009

A large focus of my practice is helping people become conscious. This involves being genuine and authentic with ourselves, taking ownership over our needs and wants, listening and responding to others honestly and openly, and wanting the same in return for ourselves.

A very important piece of this process is how we treat one another. If we faced those we loved with purpose, and treated them with kindness, respect, and love – how would our relationships change? I work with many couples who truly love one another and at the same time treat each other very badly.

Living a conscious life IS attainable. I find that many of us just react to our environment, triggers, partners, etc. with anger, fear, contempt, blame, or criticism. What if we were able to take a few seconds and pause before we speak or act, and ask ourselves – “How am I treating the person in front of me? Am I acting with intent? Am I aware of the impact of my words and actions? Am I being the person I want to be?”

I would say that most likely the answer will be NO. Then why do we do it? Why do we treat others so badly? Why do we yell, dismiss, blame, judge, and criticize the people we love? I think that we carry over so much pain from our past experiences, and the boundaries over who ‘owns’ the hurt gets blurred. Our emotions have no sense of time. Fear, pain, anger – it builds and grows if not resolved and healed. When we are stuck, we keep replaying the same stories over and over again, some times with different details, and different people, but they are the same stories, with the same feelings.

To do this week:

Pay attention to your body and how you feel. Notice when someone or something changes your feeling state. Notice if you become angry, scared, or hurt. Stop yourself from automatically responding because your response should come, with purpose, from you, and how you want to treat people. Chose your response and then ask yourself, “Am I responding in a way that I would want for myself?”